Combine those two faces together, and that's what mine looks like all weekend so far.  The big eyes when I'm coughing, and the sad pain grimace when I'm not.  Of course there is also the addition of doped up eyes due to the Nyquil.

I was supposed to be baking today!    I'm very pouty about not getting to bake this weekend.  Grr. 

Tomorrow John & I have to go to IKEA in the morning to pick up a gift card for my parent's wedding gift to a family friend's son.  (Long enough chain of possession there?)  lol  Then I have to have that mailed out on Monday.  I'm wondering if I should be going to the post office myself and certifying it for the $75.00 it's worth, think so?  I'll double check with the rents.

And damn it, I am going to bake tomorrow!  At least one kind of cookie, maybe two!

I am roasting right now.  I think the heaters really kicked on this weekend or something - holy cow!

Yeah, Happy Anniversary to me.  lol  We couldn't even go any where romantic for supper tonight because I can't breath through my nose and I would disturb everyone else with my coughing fits.  OH well.  We'll celebrate some other time.

Have a great weekend!

Taken from a December 2, 2007 Entry:

"Then we have another guy on Facebook.  He also likes to sing Karaoke, theater major, seems nice and genuine, but it says he's "pagan".  I don't think I'm okay with that.  But we're having a date on the 15th.  Meeting some where by my work for supper then going to see my friend's band play at a bar.  Should be fun.... but not necessarily lasting for me."

How wrong I was.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Psssst... I have a secret The more I think about this John boy, (heh, Johnboy) the more I think I really like him.  I smile when I think of him.  I'm really excited for Saturday, and I hope that I still feel that way afterwards.

It was so nice to be able to look back a year ago and remember all of those insecure feelings, and all of those new love feelings. 

Last weekend, we had a discussion about him telling his roomie that he would let her know about not renewing by the 60 day notice time... and when we were alone I asked if he really wanted to wait until then?  Was he really still not sure about moving in? (We had quite the ordeal the Tuesday before thanksgiving regarding this very topic and seemed to come to a conclusion of we're already living together, what is the difference.)  So for like 30 minutes, he didn't say anything, and I didn't try to make him.  I figured he was thinking about things and I wasn't going to force the conversation.  Then i went to bed, and he came over a little bit later, snuggled up behind me and still hadn't said anything.  Then I started to cry because if he's not saying anything, then it's nothing good.  About five minutes later I turn and look at him and I'm getting ready to fight and be angry because now I'm  pissed that I've been crying.  And he says "Earlier tonight I almost cried a couple of times during Silent Night at Vespers because my Grandpa used to sing that all the time.  And I think about my Grandma and how she's 88 and she's only had 33 years without him in her life, and he's been gone for 11 years now.  And I realized that I need to start moving forward in my life and moving forward for me includes you.  I've already had 27 years without you in my life, and I don't want anymore."

*sigh*  That was an amazing moment.

 

What a difference  a year makes. 

 

I am so thankful to have him in my life - I can't imagine my life without him, downs & ups included!

I am also very thankful to have all of you in my life.  I look at some of the comments left around this time in my life a year ago - and you're all part of the reason I was able to see all of the good things about our time together.  And you're all just wonderful people all around!

 

<3

Someone new joined facebook!  YAY!  I love wishes...

Cell Phone:  My new every two is up at the end of December and I've been looking at getting a fancier phone.  Does anyone want to relay their experiences with a Blackberry or Palm or LG Dare/EnV/Voyager/Venus?  (Obviously I am having a hard time making up my mind.)  I would appreciate any feedback.

Updates:

I have Shingles!  (I'm irritated by them, but after viewing Wikipedia I've realized that I have it good compared to most, I just wish I knew how long it will take to go away instead of just an estimate.)

My company has been through hard economic times like the one we're currently in and always rose out of it stronger & better than it was before.  In order to ensure that this happens again, they are taking cost-stringent approaches which changes some of our benefits a little.  My wage may not be increasing in the next year, but I am still guaranteed a job.  Well, it's silly to say THAT exactly, because no one is ever guaranteed a job.  I would say I am 99.99999997% sure that I wont' lose my job (nor will anyone else I work with.)  I guess I'm in a good profitable sector of industry right now.  YAY for numbers!

A family friend lost his job after 24 years with the same company.  He worked with copier sales/technical support driving around to fix/sell/maintenance in our state.  My mom said that she did get a chance to talk to him and he said he's still trying to figure out what he wants to do now.  He might work construction with his son... he is an amazing wood worker, I think it's a brilliant idea.  While every business line is struggling, people willing to do the work will succeed, of this I have no doubt.

I really like Beth's idea for the nationwide bailout!  I would love my $300K, thanks.  I would pay off my student loans, pay off John's car, buy a new car with CASH & warranty, any other various debts, go on a vacation & invest the rest so that when I am ready to buy a home, I can.  Or I can at least have a large downpayment.

I have to sign out.  Back later!

Okay, she didn't make me, but she gave me the idea.  I made a "baby" like she did.

Don't worry - I'm not pregnant.

Interestingly enough though, I was in a scare.  It's been a week since I should have had it - two weeks since I thought I was getting it but it never really came.  I guess I'm a bit too stressed or my health has changed & my period is (finally?) showing that I have PCOS.  Not good - but at the same time, better than being pregnant right now.  (Yes John & I use protection, but I have stopped using BC pills because I'm tired of changing my hormones - and I also felt like it gave us a false sense of extra security when I was apt to forget to take them anyway.)

Took yesterday off of work - (on Tuesday I worked from 9am until 2am the next day - it was a rough week, but I got it all done.)  John & I met my mom in St. Cloud and had lunch - picked up the Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! and shopped at Crafts Direct (mom for all kinds of fun stuff and John & I for the products to make scrolls with our friends wedding vows that are getting married next weekend as a gift.)  YAY!  I am excited to work on that.

Then last night we met his parents at the Chan Dinner Theater (where his momma works) and watched the Press Night for The Producers!  It was SO much food!  And my meal was excellent (I love ordering steak!  The Foreman does not do steak justice!)

Today John & I went to the chiropracter  (Oh yeah, he was on his way to an interview (or so we thought, ended up just turning in an application as the person he was to talk to had left) and got a speeding ticket.  THEN later that day on his way to work, he rear-ended someone - not a good day!  He is fine - has full coverage on his car so it is getting fixed & his dad is taking care of that deductible - all-in-all better than it could have been, but wow!)  and now he is off for a "Bachelor Outing" instead of party-they are playing laser tag, going out for dinner and then going back to Charlie & Sami's brand new (to them) home to play some Wii.  Not sure when I'll see him tonight. 

I am planning on relaxing/napping.  cleaning.  Going to see Nic at some point.  And that's about it.

<3

I haven't written in ages - and I hate to say I'm on the computer solely to play with my new mouse.  lol - that just sounds funny, but it's true.  My right hand has been going numb and having pain for a while now and it's increasingly got worse.  I'm 27.  I need these hands for a few more years.  So, I bought the 3M Ergonomic Mouse - and I'm bringing it to work tomorrow, but I wanted to have an idea of how it works.  Click HERE

It's interesting to say the least - the first big difference for me is that I have to move my arm to move my mouse - not just straining my wrist where I wanted it to go.  Nice.

John & I drove to Denver last weekend (left on Thursday night about 10pm... 13 1/2 hours later, we got there.)  Thought we'd just drive to the hotel right away, but we had this (slight) burst of energy as we got there and it made the most sense distance/direction wise - so we went through town, and stopped at the Hammond Candy Company for a tour.  It was sweet! 

Then we stopped at the Coors Brewery.  Hello fun! 

On the way there we saw a Jack-In-the-Box... so we had to stop for supper.  By the time we got down to Englewood to our hotel, we were exhausted & slept from 5pm until 7am the next day.

We then went to Build-a-Bear so that I could make John a Panda to go with the Koala he made me Buffalo - she's super cute, and named Dina (deena) Panda (John's Koala was Johan Koala - we named them after our potential children.  Awww)

Saw a few Safeways while we were there - made me think of Kim!

And the drive through Nebraska (on the way back anyway) made me think of Lisa - hope you & yours are doing well.

One Year Anniversary.  No, not me & John.... on November 1st it will be a year since I quit smoking.  *bows*  Thanks for the applause.  lol  I've been trying to figure out what I want to do to celebrate - ok, what I want to BUY to celebrate and decided on a Wii (Fit).  1)  More fun than a treadmill.  2)  1/3 the cost of a treadmill.  3) Can be used for more than a treadmill.

I decided this while talking with my mom & sister at a Scrapbooking weekend - and John & I went to four stores that Sunday night to find a Wii - no luck!  On Tuesday or Wednesday last week, my mom calls at work.  Says she has a surprise for me and would John or I be able to meet her and pick it up half way - well.  No.  We're both too busy.  "Do you wanna know what it is?"  Of course I do, but I mean, I don't know if you should tell me, but I suppose.  "Oh, I'm going to tell you.  So your dad and I talked about it and decided that you not smoking for a year really is a cause to celebrate - so we bought you a Wii"

I seriously started to cry a little at work.  Not really that shocking when you know who I am, but WOW!  it was just such an acknowledgement and encouragement for what I've done and what I want to do.  I wrote them a thank you note.  lol  I'm just so moved - and I don't know why it's that much more, but it is.  They've been supportive through out the entire year, but this is some how just bigger.  Anyway, it's exciting.  We still haven't picked it up yet because work is crazy busy - and I have a cold that I picked up in Denver.  All kinds of reasons.  John might meet my mom in St. Cloud on Friday to pick it up while I work  We'll see.

Friday night John & I are going to press night of The Producers at the dinner theater his mom works at, with his parents.  Yeah, for free.  I'm so excited! 

I think that's enough, I need to try to sleep off this cold.

I've been reading - I've been praying - I've been laughing!  Even though I don't write it...

It's been interesting to be here with someone this trip.  usually I'm by myself and can just do whatever I want to (which tends to turn into not all that much) when I want to.  This time, I kind of had to have events planned.  This is even more difficult as I don't have a vehicle here so I'm kind of relying on my friends to get me or Kristy to loan me her car.  It's not the most desireable situation, but it's what the monetary circumstances dictate (to rent an ECONOMY car was over $60/day.  Yikes!)

So I JUST found out that my friend who had moved to AZ a year or so ago, who I now thought had moved back to NYC, has NOW moved back to Buffalo so I DO get to see her!  (and to think I almost didn't text her because I figured she must not have had the funds to make it back to B-Lo for a visit, as she hadn't text me yet... )  Oh well, glad I sent the message!

Buffalo Thus Far:

• Plane in Chicago delayed, got into B-Lo an hour late.0


• Check-out at hotel 11am, hung out in lobby for a LONG time.  We initially asked if we could store our bags there until Kristy was off work & could pick us up.  No problem.  Then we asked about the hotel Wi-Fi to catch up on some emails and what not, in the lobby.  We stayed there for over an hour just doing our net stuff.  Then we asked about food, attempted to walk to the pizza place, but it was raining & the road we had to cross was under construction = I didn't wanna do it.)  So we ordered the pizza, had it delivered to the Lobby.  The desk clerk was going to let us use a room as long as we promised to keep it clean and not throw the garbage away in the room... which we eagerly agreed to, but I later said "no, I'd rather not, I don't want you to get in trouble.  We can eat at a table in that meeting room & watch a movie on his laptop." so that's what we did.  He had a chicken finger pizza & sub for the first time.  It was delicious... I wish I would have heard of these guys when I lived here!


• Went shopping across the street (when the rain had cleared for a bit) at the Avenue... found some nice tops on clearance and a pair of jeans on sale for$20.  John is actually a very good clothes shopping partner.  Calmly sits in the waiting chairs while I try stuff on and show him when I am okay with what I have on to make a decision together.  lol


• Got back to the hotel a few minutes before Kristy arrived to pick us up.  It was so exciting to see her. 


• Went to Thursday at the Square to see a free concert (Candlebox) where I knew ONE song (Far Behind) which is kind of a romantic slow song, so Kristy & Chad are cuddled up and swaying, John & I are doing the same and some jack ass kids behind us that in NO way could really know who Candlebox even is, NOR are they old enough to drink & are also likely high as hell, decide NOW is the appropriate time for a mosh pit.  And they slammed into Kristy & Chad... then they slammed into us TWICE, the last time so hard we flew into people in front of us, at which point Kristy kicks the kid in the back and then he gets in her face.  She backed that idiot up while getting into his face and I seriously thought she was going to have to kick his ass, but he calmed it down after he called her a Bitch & Chad was like EXCUSE me?  lol  CRAZY and definitely have no need for that to ever happened again.  Damn it, we were all having a moment!


• Friday we chilled and slept late - side note:  Kristy has a dog.  I don't know what kind of dog, but his name is Brinks.  He is a smaller dog, but he's meaty.  He's named after an armored truck for a reason.  This dog LOOOOOVVVEEESSSS people.  He would knock you down and lick you to death if you broke in, unless of course you were actually trying to hurt someone, then he actually gets mad, even at perceived conflict.  He would NOT get off our bed that was in the living room.  I was like "Brinks!  This is NOT a threesome!"  (Not that we were doing it, but we were cuddling and he stuck his face in the middle.  Icky doggy breath!)  Then he finally calmed down at our feet & fell asleep for a little while.  Got back up and left, came back in and fell asleep on the couch behind us.  The next morning after he was taken outstide, he came back in and jumped on our bed.  I was yelling "WET PAWS! WET PAWS!"  EEWWWW!  lol   But oh well.  Needless to say, the bed got moved.  lol  We now have a door.


• Went to Taffy's for shakes (over 112 flavors)  I had a Snickers.  It was okay, but weird to have sucked in nuts through a straw.  Yes I know that's funny.  The food there wasn't very good, so I don't recommend that.  Just go for dessert.


• For supper we went to "Duff's Famous Wings" and it was WONDERFUL.  Their sauce was excellent (we had mild & mild medium - neither of which was very hot, even though their warnings would indicate otherwise.)


• Saturday was Wing Fest.  Bill & his gf Tia picked us up and we went to Mighty Taco because Bill LOVES it and John had to try it, it's a Buffalo thing.  Bill was pissed because they stopped carrying Aunt Mabel's Loganberry pop.  Craziness.


• Went to the festival... it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!  We spent $20 on food tickets, so I think we had about 30 wings total between John & I - well, minus a couple because he also purchased some Buffalo Wing soup and that was a couple tickets.  I did not eat the soup.  I will not eat the soup.  Tia tried some of Bill's and said it was gross.  That was good enough for me.  They did have Buffalo Chicken Mac & Cheese that I now regret I did not try.  I probably would have enjoyed it.


• Then we went out to Hilbert... walked around the campus that actually hasn't changed that much since last April, there are however a couple new benches & picnic tables.  Looks alright.  Will have to upload a picture of one of the Hilbert Values banners. 


• Bill brought us home, they left & we chilled for a few hours.  We went out to OP to the TArget I used to work at.  Saw NO ONE I knew. 


• Went to supper at Louis' Texas Red Hots because it was on John's list.  The hotdog was good, not a fan of the greek sauce.  I had my hotdogs with mustard & onions... the onions didn't taste good to me.  However, I also had a milkshake & that was excellent (as were the onion RINGS & fries.)  John also got Loganberry pop here.


• We went back to Mighty that I had by my school & he had his first Mighty Taco (that morning we had split a chicken fajita, which is what I usually got at Mighty.)


• We stopped at Wegman's to get dessert.  Got home, were asked to go pick up Kristy from work, so we did. 


• Today we were picked up by John (my college "boyfriend" that I never really dated) for lunch at the Pearl St Grill & Bar... it was delicious.  I highly recommend it.  I had the Lighthouse microbrew and it was tasty. 


• Now we're chilling for a little bit before we go and get food for the cookout tonight.  Should be fun!


• Tomorrow I'm planning on hangin out with Christine.  We'll see what we end up doing.

<3

Is that a song? 

Right now John & I are sitting in Chicago at the airport, waiting for our connecting flight to Buffalo.  That's right folks, it's time for Wing Fest. 

I haven't written a real entry in a very long time, and this will be no different.  It's kind of just that I'm actually living life now so I don't have as much time for Xanga as I used to, but probably more that I have a hard time figuring out what I want to write about, and I think that is because if I really start writing I'll have to really examine how I'm feeling and right now I just wanna roll with the happiness & not analyze it to death as I tend to. 

Don't get me wrong, my relationship is going splendedly.  I think it's more that I don't want to look into my feelings about work.  I think I'm mostly happy there.  Having a new boss, finally receiving my promotion and maybe learning more because of that new boss, have me more excited about my job & I can see myself promoting there, at least another level, perhaps two (which would bring me into management level.)  HOWEVER, I know that I should/could make more money than I'm making, and that bothers me.  I'm mad at myself that I didn't haggle with my promotion raise.  But I am thankful that I did get promoted and that I did get a raise.  I just know that I will set a number for myself that I will NOT accept below to be promoted again.  (The next promotion I become salaried, and well, I'm not playing that game for free.)

We need to leave the restaurant and head to our gate so that we don't feel rushed/scared, so I'm going to go for now.  Depending on how alert I am when we get to the hotel, I will continue this long overdue update.

<3<3  Read you all almost everyday... lovely lunch material   <3<3  ** Glad to see miss Marshall writing again, even if it's just little blurbs most of the time.  We'll get back to it.

I   LOVE   this song! 

Johnny & June

   - Heidi Newfield (believe she was/is the lead singer of Trick Pony)

h there's something 'bout a man in black,
Makes me want to buy a cadillac,
Throw the top back,
And roll down to Jackson town,
I wanna be there on the stage with you,
You and I could be the next rage too,
Hear the crowd roar,
Make 'em want more,
Kick the footlights out,

I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June,

I wanna hold you baby right or wrong,
Build a world around a country song,
Pray a sweet prayer,
Follow you there,
Down in history,

I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June,

Like Johnny and June,
More than life itself,
No-one else,
This endless promise,
They don't make love like that anymore,
Is that too much to be askin' for,

I wanna love like Johnny and June,
Rings of fire burnin' with you,
I wanna walk the line,
Walk the line,
'Till the end of time,
I wanna love,
Love ya that much,
Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
When you're gone,
I wanna go too,
Like Johnny and June,

Like Johnny and June,
And when we're gone,
There'll be no tears to cry,
Only memories of our lives,
They'll remember, remember,
A love like that.

I've now moved.  lol

My dad, bro, sis, friends Nic & Cole all got to my old place at about 10:00am and we had everything unloaded at the new place, and lunch eaten, by about 1:30.  I'm pretty impressed with that.  Especially considering how long it took to manuever the couch into my doorway (the hallway in the new building is significantly narrower than my old one.) 

All that's left now at the old place are various items and a LOT of cleaning.  I have a feeling I won't be getting half of my deposit back, but oh well.  It was a learning curve for me, and hopefully the things I didn't take care of properly in the old place will stick with me here so that I'm more responsible about things.

I'm freaking exhausted right now.  Let me tell you.. I will definitely not be moving during report week ever again.  So we'll have to hope for another promotion, or at least a good raise before the next time I need to move so i can pay rent for an extended time or whatever to make moving easier on myself.  It all got done though, so I guess I can't complain too much.

A group of us are going out next thursday night to a mexican place we haven't been in FOREVER to celebrate my promotion   I'm excited.  It will be nice because we won't have to work the next day.

John's parents also invited us over for a BBQ next weekend.  WOOHOO!    I'm excited for that.  There is also a family reunion of theirs on my birthday... which apparently I will be going to for at least a little bit?  We'll see I suppose. 

John is also coming "home" with me the weekend after next (12th) to celebrate my b-day with my family.  It won't necessarily work out as well as I had planned, and actually might NOT happen after all because my grandma's sister is dying of cancer. They had her down in the cities for some radiation (she has cancer pretty much every where and for some reason I think this particular part they were trying to radiate was in her bones... which I believe is never a good sign) and she was supposed to be getting that treatment for 3 weeks.  It's only been a week and I was told on Thursday that they will be bringing her home (WAY up at the top of the state) and arranging hospice-so the treatment wasn't working.  WELL, then yesterday morning I guess judging by vitals or however Falls by ambulance as she isn't even strong enough to sit up.

All that said, my G'ma is going up to the Falls on Monday or Tuesday, whichever day they release her, and won't be coming back until it's all over.  I'm so sad for my G'ma today. So sad.  I called to ask how she was doing and to find out if I could still see M before she was brought back up north (cuz I haven't seen her in over a year) but it's only her sisters & children that are allowed to see her at this point.  I'm also very sad about that.  I respect it, and I understand it, but that whole selfish thing of wishing I could see her one last time. 

I'm also sad because it is unlikely that I will be able to go to the funeral.  And I'm very selfishly sad that my g'ma might not get to be home the weekend of the 12th so that she can meet my boyfriend.  I think I'm also a little bit overly emotional and irrational today.  Go figure. 

Ugh.. so much crying today.  But that's okay.  Good to get it out.

John has a performance type thing tonight at 10pm.  It's called "Villification Tennis" which I guess is something common at the RenFest where you basically have an "insult competition" or something.  And I wanted to go.  But I'm wiped right now. And I cried about that too.  lol  So he's going to do his thing tonight, then go to the after party from the Cities Improv Festival... and then he'll call me and I'll let him back in to the new apartment so that he can sleep with me. 

It's so beautiful here. 

It's so calm.

It's so filled with boxes that are full at the moment.  I should probably get on that.

Love you all!

I just got promoted!