Well, if nothing else comes of it, I look good on paper!

And it's been a busy three weeks!

We made all these color decisions and stuff while on our vacation.

Those are all out the window now.  I mean, not really because I still want a fall color bouquet, but I really don't know what the sash color of the bridesmaid dresses will be.

I suppose I could back up a bit.

Booked:

• Church
• VFW
• Pastor Uncle & Pastor G'pa
• Bridal Party
• 77 Save the date cards are handstamped & ready to be addressed. They need to go out at the end of the month because it's a holiday weekend wedding.  I still haven't requested everyone's addresses yet.  Etiquette says that you mail invitations to your co-workers - but do you mail them to their home or to the work address?  Also, how do you go about asking for their addresses?  It feels AWKWARD.  I'm not inviting everyone, we don't have money for that.  But I have played the game and invited the people I NEED to.  Argh.  Anyway.
• I probably need to make another 50-70 save-the-dates.

I thought I had the invitations designed, but when I threw the colors together, it was too much.  So now I'm kind of on hold until we make more decisions. 

Charlie's Pizza will be around $5-7 per person, which is really good price.  And it's going to be so yummy.

Another item I'm looking for - You know how pizza places are starting to put your pizza up in the air on a cake stand or something of that nature now?  I need to find some inexpensive stands for the head table, I'm thinking at least four of them so if you have any ideas, let me know!

Drum Pizza Stand
  -  I like this one because it would be fun/easy? to wrap flowers in and around.  Nice price too.

Next weekend we are heading down to NE for Easter with John's family.  woo hoo!  Actually I'm fine with his family, I just don't like the drive.  Right now we carpool with his parents and I end up in the back behind his dad and my legs are a little bit cramped.  Its a 6 hour ride!  lol  Argh.  But if that's my only frustration, that's not so bad.

The weekend after we are heading to my friends' in SD.  Steph is going to make my bouquets!    So we are going to do the shopping for those flowers and get her started.  Hopefully we are certain our colors by then.

That's about all the time I have for updating right now - we have to get to cleaning & start packing soon - we are moving at the end of May.  I have a whole month to move my stuff, but I don't know which weekend in June my family will pick to get my big stuff moved.

Take care!

So you've all already read the "proposal - kind of" from the NE trip.  Well here's the next story:

We went apartment hunting today - ALL DAY.  Well, we did also have lunch with his parents, but other than those two blissful hours (I'm not being faceitous!  I enjoy his parents!  lol) we were looking for a new place to stay.  Eventually we stop at the last stop, the current rental office of where I live and view their two bedrooms - I think we're sold!  They even have a sprayer in the kitchen sink!  lol  YAY!  The simple joys...

So we came home and cuddled for a while then John went to get my mail and I hopped on FB.  I'm chatting with an old HS classmate and he hands me the mail - with the box inside.  lol  I smiled and I looked at it and he's like "Open it"  and then I said I couldn't and I started to cry. hehe.  He got on his knees and said "I know I already know the answer, but will you marry me?  Will you be my wife?"

Of COURSE - *sob sob* *giggle giggle*  *sob giggle sob*  hehe.  It was interesting.

So then we were all excited for about 10 minutes with the sob/giggle continuing. And then I grabbed my phone.  First mom - then dad's cell because he wasn't home.  Then John's phone & his parents.  Then my sister, his brother, my brother.  Then our grandparents.  Stop.  Pause.  Write list of people to call friends wise.

We finally went out for supper about 8pm.  Hit up the liquor store on the way home (with 15 minutes before closing!) so that we had our wine and beer for the "vacation" starting tomorrow!  Kind of forgot to do that earlier today once the excitement happened.  Texting throughout supper (Set up FB with the news before we headed out.)

It was a fun night!

Now we're doing the overload of dishes so that it's all clean before we "vacay".

Oh yeah, suppose you might want to see this:

But I'm on VACATION!  

John & I are looking at apartments tomorrow & having lunch with his parents.  Then on Sunday we are going to our hotel and hiding for four days! 

He broke his laptop earlier this year & it hasn't been fixed yet, so that unfortunately won't be coming with us.  I CAN get on the net with my cell phone so if any updates are necessary, I will be able to let you know - just unfortunately without pictures!

I got my nails done today.  tee hee

A co-worker gave me the address for a really great wedding planning site - I highly recommend a newly engaged woman most of us know & love check it out too!

EZ Wedding Planner

I'm loving it!

Am I crazy that they have already begun?  lol

My mom said she already has 40 people on her list for family - 13 more for friends.  We are going to meet up half-way for dinner or something on Sunday, that will be fun!  I can show her my sketch for my invitations.  She can show me her sketch for my wedding dress.  She said she might look at patterns today.  hehe.  She doesn't sew, neither do I!

We can't find any cake topper place online that will make us a Koala Groom & a Panda Bride.  You can get a Koala couple & a Panda couple, but they are conjoined, so we couldn't switch the partners around.  I guess now we're on the look out for cute koala & panda figurines that we can play dress up with.    If anyone has any ideas or knows someone that can make this happen, that would be awesome!

We have a lot of things to decide yet.  Are we just having two attendents?  If not, how big does the party get?  I've always imagined at least 3 bridesmaids.  Hmmm.

Not feeling like work today, so I'm heading out at 4.  That way I can more easily justify staying late to get other things done next week.

Next weekend is probably THE weekend.. meaning the engagement will be official   We're heading to a smaller suburb of the cities for a "romantic" getaway.  Jacuzzi Suite and NO PLANS.  John has to turn his phone off so that if work calls, he won't have to hear it.    Exciting!

I am so freaking tired.  I finally succumbed to taking two Tylenol PMs to wind myself down to sleep.

I seriously never thought I could be that excited!  I don't even know how or why, but I was just THRILLED yesterday.  John asked me at supper "am I going to have to give you a sedative?"  lol  Oy.  But it's really exciting

Hopefully I've got that out of my system now so that I can be calm until he actually asks me.  lol  Then I get to buy an overpriced magazine!!!  lol  The simple joys in life.

I suppose I should update on the Neurological visit, because I think I forgot to.  We went yesterday afternoon and without the MRI.  The doctor asked him tons of questions about his anxiety moments/attacks and then had him do all these, I think cognitive, tests.  He had rapid instructions for movements like holding his arms straight out and touching her finger then his nose repetitively while she moved where her finger was.  All of these & reflex tests were done in quick succession, and during which she alternated directions with questions having nothing to do with the directions.  It was really interesting to watch.

Diagnosis:  No Aphasia.  She believes that all of his physical duress symptoms are indicative of anxiety/mood disorder/depression.  Asked him to contact his family doctor from Monday to get a referral to a Psychiatrist for med evaluation & to continue with therapy.  I asked her if him continuing with a therapist who really bucked at the idea of him going on medication was a good plan, and she didn't say one way or another (which I do respect) but she said it wouldn't be bad to go some where within that particular medical group so that all of his doctors are working (easily) with the same information.

I'm so relieved to know that I wasn't wrong about my gut instinct of his mental stress.  I know how bad it sucks to not be happy.  And while I think he wishes there could be a physical reason as to why he feels this way, I think he's deep down relieved too.

Lots of work this month.. so off to work I go!

<3

 *tear*

Dear Kevin, 


      First I must say I wanted to do this in person, but circumstances involving work have keep it from happening.  I have to do it like this because of the time frame in which I want to do what it is I'm doing.

      To the point, I am asking for your permission and blessing to ask Tia to marry me.  I am in love with her.  It's hard to see life without her.  My mother made the observation that I seemed lost when she wasn't around. I feel like I am a better human being sense she's been in my life.  She loves me in spite of my faults and flaws.  The world looks and feels different when I'm with her or when I think about her. If I ever lost her, life would go on, but it would be less bright and not as filled with laughter and warmth. 

     I'm not sure when the wedding would take place.  it could be as soon as this fall, or not until next spring/summer. I just want it to happen.  I just want Tia to be my wife, and it would mean a great deal for you to give me the O.K. to ask her.

Sincerely,

-John

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Dear John, 

   The answer to your question is yes you have both my permission and blessing.  It is my opinion that you two have a relationship that has continued to grow and eventualy would proceed to this step. Here's to a bright future!

                                     Best wishes,

                                              Kevin

 

  *tears*

So he did it! 

He finally wrote my dad for permission to ask me to marry him.  lol  (I'm sorry, at first breath, you all probably thought the engagement happened.  Not yet!  But it's closer!)

He wanted to do it in person last Saturday.  But we ended up not going home because I wasn't feeling well yet and who wants to share that with your loved ones?  So we planned on going home this Saturday, however he realized he is actually working 14 days straight - so that's not going to work.

Finally, he was going to write a letter.  A letter he felt unable to write yesterday.  So we cuddled & talked about it (and all the head stuff too) and he decided in the end to write an email.  To some that might sound impersonal, and it can be.  But the reality is that email is a quicker letter.  It's not like he typed in acronyms or anything like that.

And that way the turn around of "permission" or whatever my dad will write back will also be that much quicker. 

He would have called him on the phone, but I've never met anyone so anti-phone conversation in my life!  He sounds awkward just calling his own parents!

And yes, I did read what he wrote.  He was like "Can't you just write it for me?!?! or help me?"  Nope.  I don't think it would be right.  And it probably wasn't right that I read it, but I have no patience for these things and pretty much as soon as I realized I wasn't falling asleep right away last night, I read it.  It made me cry.  He did great & perfect & beautiful.    I'll share it here, at some point, probably after he gets the response from my dad.

And he did ask his parents on Saturday, how they would feel.  They were happy, said they expected it.  His mom smiled & said "Ya know, I know you guys have things that drive each other crazy about the other person, but you love each other enough to look past those things.  And you seem kinda lost when she's not around." 

It was good to KNOW that they are okay with me... and perhaps they even already love me.  (Who wouldn't?  Right?  RIGHT?) 

So there is my morning entry.  We'll see if I can't start blogging more.  That would probably be good for me if I did.

I don't think I'm that worried.... but I'm just like  AAAAHHH blaaaahhhh grrrr sleep nope.

Wasn't that entertaining to read?

I can't wait until we are officially engaged & I have that beautiful symbol of our love on my finger.  I can't wait until we find the perfect (please?  can't it at least SEEM perfect for a while?) place to rent together.  (Currently looking at 2 B 1.5 BR townhomes under $800... not too many to choose from.)

To really start our lives together.  *sigh*  Can't wait.