August 26, 2009
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Grasping at Reality
Well I'm almost half way through the day. Mid-year review went well. Hoping to promote by EOY, so that would be nice.
John suggested last night that we talk to Pastor Kent about this and figure out how he can make it right.
I never thought I'd have to deal with something like this.
I don't really think he cheated.
I do feel disrespected and hurt.
I would probably tell a girlfriend to be over it.
But if she told me he was willing to work on things and is actively pursuing counseling, I might agree it's worth a shot.
I've seen a couple (my brother) where both cheated on the other, and they're still together 12 years later. I know people can make it work.
I know he needs to grow the heck up. And I feel that's the main problem here. He has been having a hard time mentally with the idea of being a grown up for a long time. Is that something he can actually change? I don't know.
I know I'm in a lease I can't afford by myself.
I know I would hate to postpone something that a lot of money is already into, only to finish the job a year later.
I would hate to regret getting married.
I would hate to regret not getting married.
I would hate to regret not being able to forgive.
I would hate to regret forgiving.
I feel like part of him making it right is going to involve apologizing to me in front of my parents, perhaps in front of his as well. For him to own up to being childish to the people that support us. I don't know why I think this would make me feel better. Maybe it would let me have more confidence in him realizing he needs to grow up - and would show me that he can man up when his back is against the wall.
I can't imagine how my life would change without him.
I can't imagine my life staying exactly the same - but I know people always grow, people always change, whether for the worse or better.
I'm scared to talk to Wisssh tonight
I don't think I'm going to like what she has to tell me.I'm excited to talk to Wissh tonight.
I really don't like feeling this way.
And I suppose, I should get back to work.
Comments (4)
Congratulations on the good review!
It sounds like you're thinking things through well. I'm glad you're going to talk to Wissh tonight.
((hugs))
Oh Tia, this is the 2nd mention of you guys maybe not feeling ready... I am not suggesting that you cancel things or break up, but I do think you should give it more time. My daughter and her hubby each postponed at different times, for 6 months. They did get married, and the issues that were bothering them were resolved. They have a good marriage now. I am not sure it would be as strong if they just went ahead and got married in the first place. I know you love John and I know you are anxious to start your life so to speak, but it is always best to have problems resolved first. Many places will not penalize you if you postpone, but continue to use their services at the later date... though I guess invitations would need to be redone.... Please give serious thought to postponing and getting things dealt with before you say I do... divorce is even more painful than waiting or even calling it off... and if kids come along first, they get thrown into it all.... and if you want to talk, message me your number and I will call you as well!
Talking to your pastor is a good start as well as a couples counselor....speaking as someone who has been married 5 years there are always things that drive us nuts about our significant others...marriage is work
Are you kidding? You were scared to talk to Wissh??!? I'm sorry I wasn't available to call you during our appointed time, but I thought it important enough to overcome my phone phobia (ask Beth how bad it is!) and call you. I'll assume you didn't answer because it wasn't a good time, not because you didn't want to talk to me. I'm really not that scary. Just text whenever you can/want to chat and I'll call you back. Hugs.
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